Attempt at eloquence.

So, I noticed that Cass put up some things about her... and apparently "everyone" is doing this.. lol. So, I decided to update a list i made a little while ago. I am a really introspective person, I guess, and that's why I can think of so many things. I hope that doesn't make me self-centered in any way. It makes me wonder if I could come up with 50 things I know about Kyle. Or my mom, or my dad, or Randy, or Stacy even? I want to challenge them all to write me 50 things. I now know almost 50 things about Cassidi.. but Dad, I know you read this, and I think it would be awesome if you did it!!


1. my name is the most sacred place in irish mythology.
2. i bite my nails worse than anyone i know.
3. i want to move to california so badly it kind of hurts.
4. disney land is easily my favorite place in the world.
5. i drink more coffee than anyone should. i live off it nowadays.
6. me and my boyfriend call each other goons, and we even have a goon language.
7. i like the smell of rain.
8. i am going to get a tattoo of my mom's initials when i can afford it.
9. i have the craziest kittens ever named figaro and mashburn.
10. when i was little i used to go up to people in stores and tell them i was lost just so that everyone would pay attention to me.
11. i used to write, but i feel so uninspired in arizona.
12. i am a wimp, but i kick ass at pillow fighting.
13. i know a lot of random useless facts about movies. but it's what i want to do with my life, so i guess that's not a bad thing.
14. i'm really not photogenic at all. it takes a lot to get a good picture of me.
15. my favorite disney movie is snow white.
16. i dye my hair more than anyone in the world, i think. in the past year it has been black with red streaks, red, purple, blue, pink bangs, purple bangs, blue bangs, and now it is just plain black.
17. i used to be a spoiled brat, and reality was a really big slap in the face for me, but i have over come it.
18. i love people far too much, and far too quickly. if i have ever cared about you, i promise i really will never stop. even if i pretend that i don't.
19. i am obessive compulsive about a lot of things, and every few days i'll freak out and spend hours cleaning.
20. i like to do laundry.
21. i have piano player's hands.
22. i was never told i looked like my mom until after she died.
23. i hate capital letters. i don't even sign my name with capitals. but grammar and college tell me i have to use them. so, i try. someday i will be so famous like e.e. cummings that i won't have to conform to grammar and conventions at all!!
24. i like bright colors and hello kitty and cartoons and little kid stuff.
25. i am completely sober of everything, and i have been for a year and a half now. and i mean everything. the only thing i drink now is wine. =)
26. i have always thought i would do something amazing with my life. something worth remembering. i am only 20, but i see other people's lives and i wish i was doing things as amazing as they are. like working on make up for tv shows, or moving to a foreign country.
27. i am really insecure about my weight.
28. i have had a lot of best friends. it would take me a while to name them all. they have all been in my life for just a season, it seems. and then they fade away for one reason or another. no one sticks around for long, either that or i just leave when things get tough.
29. i donate 20 dollars every month to the national society for the protection of animals.
30. i like anything that belongs to the felidae family. aka cats, lions, tigers
31. i read a lot, but it's really hard for me to get into a book. usually i will convince myself i hate it within the first few pages, and i have to force myself to keep going until i actually enjoy it.
32. my feet fall asleep a lot.
33. i took a latin class. it was the hardest class i have ever taken. i feel like i retained nothing. i can tell you basic things.
34. when i am at the proper age and i get married, i would love to have at least one kid with red hair like kyle's!! haha.
35. my entire birthday is 8's. 8/26/88
36. it is my goal to watch every single movie on the american film institutes list of the 100 best movies of all time.
37. everything is better in black and white.
38. i was in choir for 4 years, but for the past few years i can't sing to save my life.
39. i have always wanted to learn how to play the cello.
40. i used to read the dictionary. no, i'm serious. i really did.
41. i am a spiritual person. i don't like organized religion. i believe that every person has their own personal truth about things like that, and that no one is right or wrong.
42. christmas used to be my favorite holiday, but ever since my mom died i had spent it completely alone until last year.
43. i used to have this crazy dream that i would save up enough money for a plane flight to europe, and then just figure it out from there. be poor, experience different cultures, travel but not in a tourist-y way.
44. i am a really needy person. needy of attention. needy of communication. needy of love, and physical affection. but what girl isn't??
45. i have hands down, the weirdest brain of anyone. sometimes i wonder what my thoughts would look like, if they were tangible things. what colors would they be?
46. orchids are my favorite flower.
47. i want to go to the louvre and look into the eyes of the mona lisa. mostly just so i can see what all the fuss is about.
48. i try and look at the sky every single day, because it is always different. every day. no sky is the same as the next.
49. i really want to get married, and stay married, and be happy in that marriage. i want to be an old couple who still holds hands after 50 years. it seems like one in a million these days.
50. i have an irrational fear of stairs, escalators, things that go backwards, climbing down things, falling backwards, and doing a somersault.

"How many lives do we live? How many times do we die? They say we all lose 21 grams... at the exact moment of our death. Everyone. And how much fits into 21 grams? How much is lost? When do we lose 21 grams? How much goes with them? How much is gained? How much is gained? Twenty-one grams. The weight of a stack of five nickels. The weight of a hummingbird. A chocolate bar. How much did 21 grams weigh?" - Guillermo Arriaga